Kids are natural comedians so why not encourage them to get punny with these kid-approved quips that require little to no explanation from parents. Just don’t be surprised when the comedy sketch goes beyond today! Scroll down for our silliest and corniest jokes yet
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Because she was stuffed.
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
A cornfield.
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
6. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frost bite!
Frost bite!
7. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!
8. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
9. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
10. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
A coconut on vacation.
11. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
Dill with it.
12. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot!
13. Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
14. How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern...
Tomb it may concern...
15. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
R2 detour.
16. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!
17. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
18. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
19. When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.
20. How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
21. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!
22. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.
23. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
24. What kind of water cannot freeze?
Hot water.
25. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
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31. Where would you find an elephant?
The same place as you lost her!
32. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!
Use big words!
33. What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.
A bat.
34. What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow!
35. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.
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36. What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library!
The public library!
37. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
38. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves!
It waves!
39. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister!
40. How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Eclipse it.
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41. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!
42. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
Tweethearts!
43. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!
44. How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night!
45. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.
She starts coffin.
46. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
47. What is a computer's favorite snack?
Computer chips!!
—reader Rebecca K.
Computer chips!!
—reader Rebecca K.
48. Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
They do, just not in public.
49. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
The cow that jumped over the moon
50. What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
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51. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
Time to get a new clock.
52. How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
It goes through a jarring experience.
53. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
A stick.
54. What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
55. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
56. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.
57. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
58. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
59. What's green and can fly?
Super Pickle!
60. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrupting pir—yarrrrrr!
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61. What did the nose say to the finger?
Quit picking on me!
62. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
63. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
64. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
65. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
66. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
67. Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
68. Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little hoarse.
69. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to dance with.
70. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
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71. What do you call two bananas?
Slippers.
And speaking of bananas...
72. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
73. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
74. What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?
A stamp.
75. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
76. What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.
77. What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
78. Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
79. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
80. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud!
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91. What part of your body can cause the end of the world?
Your apoco-lips (AJ, age 8!)
92. What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?
"I Apollo-gize."
93. Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice.
94. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
The thesaurus.
95. What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?
Do these genes make my butt look big?
96. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.
97. What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
Owwwww-ch! (by Henrik, age 5)
98. Kid: What are you doing under there?
Mom: Under where?
Kid: Ha ha! You said underwear!!
99. Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.
100. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.
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101. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
102. Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?
Because it was full.
103. How do pickles enjoy a day out?
They relish it.
104. What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
105. What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Arrrrrrrrrr
106. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.
107. How do you throw a party in space?
You planet.
108. What did zero say to eight?
Nice belt!
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109. What happened when the skunk was on trial?
The judge declared, "Odor in the court, odor in the court!"
110. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
111. Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
112. What do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh.
113. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
114. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.
115. Why are robots never afraid?
They have nerves of steel.
116. Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a-head.
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117. What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs.
118. What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a jacket.
119. Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes me, who are you?
120. What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom!
121. What kind of haircuts to bees get?
Buzzzzzcuts.
122. Knock knock!
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut ask me, I just got here.
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124. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?
A pie-thon.
125. What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?
Use a door jam.
126. Why was 6 so mad at 7?
Because 7 8 9.
127. Why didn't the robot finish his breakfast?
Because the orange juice told him to concentrate.
128. Why can't you play hockey with pigs"
They always hog the puck.
129. Why do porcupines always win the game?
They have the most points.
130. Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks!
131. What does bread do on vacation?
Loaf around.
132. Why was the broom running late?
It over-swept.
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